The Story of Gwendolyn Lawrence (Part 1)

I am a 66-year-old crossdresser who has determined in the past year that she is transgender. I grew up in a rather typical middle-class home. From an early age I was always more interested in music, art, and fashion. Beginning in 1^st grade I had far more friends that were girls than boys. I had no interest in getting dirty or fighting. I would rather play with Barbie dolls. 

 

The start of my crossdressing journey began when I was 10 years old. I was tempted to try on one of my mom’s Rago all-in-one corselettes. It was a beautiful baby blue. It was basically an open bottom girdle with a bra attached to the top. I still do not know what prompted me to pick up that lovely item. There was just something that attracted me to it. 

 

My mom was a rather sexy lady when it came to shapewear, lingerie, and stockings. The year was 1965. Pantyhose were just beginning to arrive on the scene. A stylish woman still wore stockings with garters.  The most exotic of those were full fashion seamed nylons. As my mom worked hard to be the classiest lady, that’s what she wore in either beige or black. So, I am holding this lovely garment that I had seen my mom wear many times. She always looked so sharp. I’m feeling it from the wide elastic shoulder straps to the satin front panel and the six metal garter clips hanging at the bottom and the heavily constructed bra cups. 

 

I don’t know why I picked it up but the feel of it made me decide to try it on. My mom was a petite lady at 5 foot 2. I was already bigger than she was at ten years old so it was only slightly large. She was outside in the garden so I took off my clothes. I pulled the corselette up my legs as I had seen my mom do many times. The feeling as it went up over my body was electric! I could see that the cups need filling and grabbed a couple of pairs of her panties and stuffed them into each cup. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was amazed at how fabulous I looked in my mind. I saw the garters hanging free at the bottom. I knew that my mom would attach stockings to those garter clips. I looked into her stockings drawer and removed a pair of black seamed nylons with a Cuban heel. I rolled them up with my hands as I had seen my mom do many times. I pointed my foot and slid the stocking up my leg gently smoothing it as I went up. I clipped the welt of the stocking top to the rear garter as I knew my mom did. I then attached the front garter and side one. I proceeded to do the same with the other leg. I felt so amazing. I couldn’t stop running my hands over my legs and body. When they passed over the bra cups, I had what I believe were my first thoughts of them feeling so beautiful. I turned around to see what I looked like from behind. My stockings rubbed against one another. It was I believe the feeling that was the final step that hooked me on crossdressing. 

 

As so many crossdressers know within a few minutes I had a terrible feeling of guilt and doing something wrong flow over me. I took off the stockings and corselette as quickly as I could. I put everything back where I had taken them from. I ran back to my room wondering to myself what had I done. I remember crawling under the covers on my bed thinking what was wrong with me. A man didn’t do things like this. I was shuddering, thinking that I was mentally sick. Of course, due to my age, it wasn’t as clinical as that. I tried to forget about this but it wouldn’t leave my thoughts. I dreamt about me being in that beautiful corselette. Over the next several weeks I had that dream numerous times. There was no one to ask about this. There was no internet to search for information. I went forward and dressed in that corselette many times. I then noticed full slips. They felt amazing as they fell over me. I continued dressing up occasionally for the next few years. Each time I felt so wonderful but this was wrong. Guys didn’t do this! I was beginning to think that I might be crazy (terminology from 1970). I continued to dress up in my mom’s things for a couple of years. I began to get too big to fit her clothes. 

 

I was lucky enough that my aunts were both very fashionable women and were larger than my mom. I was so amazed because both of my aunts were big fans of satin, taffeta, and chiffon. I am still to this day so in love with the feelings of these marvelous fabrics. They had stored several trunks of clothing at our house. In them were many knee length and floor length cocktail dresses. How I wish I still had some of them now. I would feel like a lady of high society. Most were in lovely pastel shades of pink, green, blue, and yellow. I specifically remember a few stunning colors. One was a floor-length satin sheath gown in amazing emerald green. Another was a stunning cobalt blue taffeta mermaid tail below the knee gown with long trumpet sleeves. I still can feel how it was when the taffeta would rub against itself. I was forever attracted to these amazing fabrics and styles.

 

To be continued....

 

 

If you want to follow Gwendolyn, you can find her at https://www.facebook.com/gwendolyn.lawrence.1420